Any sin is easily forgiven in churches these days - except getting remarried. It is among the only things (are there others?) that one can do to be permanently banned from the pulpit and having no further possibility - ever - of getting "credentials" among many evangelical denominations.
Thankfully not all evangelical groups practice this abomination of final shunning and rejection against their brethren who have suffered the slings and arrows of outrageous divorce.
All christians who are interested in this matter should read Michael Braun's book "Second class Christians" on the subject. Here
The words of Jesus on this are so mis-interpreted and even more mis-applied that the church is almost universally guilty of torturing and persecuting divorced/remarried people who love the Lord with all their hearts.
The infidelity clause Jesus used shows where both divorce and remarriage are permitted. Paul also gave more conditions concerning those married to unbelievers.
To say that because there is no specific bible verse that mentions violence, there is therefore no legitimate reason for a divorce in those cases is ludicrous and cruel to say the least. I have noticed that most of those who inflict all the pain and accusations of adultery on those who have remarried have never themselves been through any such situation.
It's saying that women (or men) who are subjected to habitual violence in their marriages must suffer all their lives for it. No hope of starting over, no hope of redemption, no hope of real acceptance in the church and no hope of ever being loved or loving again - i.e. no hope at all!! Unless of course God intervenes and changes the guilty person's will. Which of course, God never does! Good old free will. One of the great beauties of the universe and the reason why evil is possible.
Let me say something here: if you believe that the person who had the guts to go through a life-time commitment to someone, in all sincerity expecting that marriage to last "till death do us part", is in adultery if they find themselves betrayed, abandoned and repudiated by the one they loved, then you need a good lesson on betrayal and it's violent consequences on the human spirit. Not to mention some re-reading the WHOLE scriptural story on the subject!!
Now here is what I have witnessed in a ton of churches that claim they love the Lord and are supposedly following the more excellent way :
A christian gets married in desire to respect the laws of God and show their desire for life-long companionship with another.
The marriage goes haywire with one of the couple betraying and deserting the other, or the woman has to leave for the sake of her own physical well-being with a violent spouse. Violence and infidelity always go hand in hand.
The person goes, unwillingly, through the torture and shame of divorce
The person is from then on treated as like a 2nd class christian, if as a christian at all, by 3/4 of the church they went to.
They are then warned against re-marriage as a sin.
They are told that if they get remarried they will be living in adultery and therefore will not be accepted for any kind of leadership or teaching position in the church if accepted at all!
They decide to get remarried.
They are henceforth shunned, humiliated and treated like dirt by both pastor and members and so they end up leaving and believing that christians and the scriptures are heartless, harsh and tormenting intolerant things.
They are right about the "chrisitans" in question. They are wrong about God and His Word - it's the teaching that is wrong.
..... Ok on with the typical story ...
Next thing you know some guy comes walking in the church doors and gets "saved".What hypocrisy and stupidity is this?
He's slept with 32 different women.
Never had an ounce of decency to commit to any.
Lived with some of them for a year or two.
Beat a couple of them half to death.
The church receives him with wide open arms and because of his demonstration of growth and fervor he is invited to become a minister after a stint in bible school. No problems cause he wasn't married !!!??!
How much pain and anger must this cause in the heart of God !?
God sees through this hypocritical and ungodly behavior.
The christian that got married in all good faith is blatantly rejected for deciding that God was good enough and big enough to forgive the past and let them start a new life. But the swine-hearted pig that slept around for years with no faithfulness ever to anyone is heartily received with acclamations for his "amazing conversion and call to ministry" - no problem - he never got married to any of them!! "Nothing legal" = free leeway into all this sacred for this one!
Let's take this kind of thinking to it's logical conclusions: marriage is a dangerous thing, it's failure is punishable by shunning. Yes, let's all just remain in common law since if it ever goes wrong there be still be a possibility of real forgiveness and starting over with a new love - because no legal papers have been signed!
That's exactly the message the youth of our nations are receiving toaday. Don't get married 'cause divorce sucks and remarriage = shunning, rejection and banning from public ministry in the church! I know many young people who fear marriage because of this!
Those righteous ones who don't want to disobey God and fornicate before marriage are liable to severe punishment for their obediance if the other partner goes conjugually AWOL. The unrighteous one who just fornicates because he hasn't the back bone to commit can be admitted to ministry any day after repentance.
Strange "justice" is this indeed!
Do the cruel comforters of Job really believe that God is as cruel and exacting in the Law to the last drop of blood as they are? Do you believe that this is the way God treats those who have unwillingly and forcibly been betrayed, dragged through the courts, humiliated, suckered for huge alimony, had their children taken from them and wept long, sleepless nights over the disaster? And will still weep for years to come at the very memory of it all!!
Is it not obvious that He who is the father of orphans and the helper of widows, the strong tower to the helpless and feeder of the hungry does not shun, condemn and reject his own children who have been so obnoxiously treated!
Do you truly believe that God does not see the outlandish hypocrisy of giving such treatment to those who have been so badly wounded, all while receiving the habitual fornicator or worse with wide open arms and no problem for ministry and proper christian behavior!???
I, for one, am ashamed of the hypocritical actions and attitudes of the church in this area.
I've seen it myself and heard of so many others it's ridiculous. Any heathen can see the hypocrisy and illogic of it. The Church should correct itself on this and the sooner the better. It also needs repentance and restitution for all the unrighteous dammages it has caused victims of divorce who remarry.