The lighter side of Evolution

Evolution explained in laymen's terms:

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All matter came from one place the size of a pinhead, it then exploded and created the known universe. Suns and planets formed. A chemical soup on the surface of one planet formed a precise arrangement of molecules needed for life. Tired of floating around as a simple life form, it had a vision of being the founding cell of all life. Too big a task for a little cell? No! This was no normal cell. It was a cell with a purpose. It would be responsible for every tree, bird, worm, plant, frog and bacteria. It was determined. So it focused on doing what no other group of organic molecules had done before—reproduce. After a million year long struggle (even though it's life-span was only 62 seconds) it succeeded. Now there were two.
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Fish evolved feet to walk on land because they wanted to go where no fish had gone before.
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Elephants evolved trunks to carry their luggage.
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Spiders evolved webs because it was hard work chasing flies.
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Flying fish evolved feet to make it easier to sit in the trees.
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Bees evolved tiny wings capable of flight because it was easier than using tiny ropes to climb flowers stalks.

Then they discovered, after much mathematical and physical experimentation, the strength of honeycomb structures and built hives.

Then they evolved into a colony because they were lonely and so they all moved in together into the new hives.
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Slugs evolved mucus secreting cells to reduce the sandpaper effect caused by crawling over rocks on their belly.
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Trees evolved leafs because they too felt naked after the Fall of Adam & Eve.
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Fished evolved fins because the propeller systems they tested were inefficient.
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Flowers evolved because seeds believed in flower power.
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Ants evolved antennae because their mouths were poorly formed for speech but they really needed to communicate.
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Peacocks evolved bright colorful feathers because they had low self-esteem and wanted to feel attractive.
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Birds evolved wings cause it was much easier flying than climbing trees to make nests. Many died trying to figure out the aerodynamics of flight before they came up with a good body/bone design.

Eagles and falcons evolved acute eyesight because they crashed into mountains and trees without it; also because they couldn't see little mice way down there.
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Scientists have discovered that dinosaurs produced massive amounts of methane gas in the intestine, which over time, entered the atmosphere to reduce sunlight and caused an ice age. It is postulated a single dinosaur toot contained 50 cubic liters of methane gas. If cavemen could have harnessed this resource they could have had central heating in their caves. Thus dino farts caused the extenction of dinosaurs. Was it sucide?
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Giraffes evolved long necks to breath above the methane fumes.
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The first human stood upright to get a better view of where he was going. He then discovered that walking upright was easier on the hands.
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Frogs evolved into princes because they were sick of living in swamps and eating bugs.
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Bombadier beetles evolved exploding gas mechanisms in their butts because they wanted to have a blast while finding some defensive function for farting.
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The super brainy wasp - Hymenoepimecis, Ichneumonidae - developed chemical injection systems for Orb weaving spiders (see symbiotic post below) that cause the spiders to weave a nice comfortable cocoon for the wasp. Why? Because they were simply tired of having to do everything themselves.
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One day the zoo-keeper noticed that the orang-utan was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's The Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"?
"Well," said the orang-utang, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."
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ho ho ho!